I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize