It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
