I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
