he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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