I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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