True but thats because hes a fetus.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
