I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The adults are the big ones right?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
