if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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