im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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