No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
