You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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