I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
