I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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