i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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