Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
