do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
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no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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