I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
