she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
