So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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