Need sex. Gaining weight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
