Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
