we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
