Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
