I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Pants are for mortals
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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