I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
