We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
