only if we run a train.
done.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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