names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
