i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
