There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
