okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
