Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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