Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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