Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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