it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize