YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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