That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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