Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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