he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
