ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
