maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize