what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
third nipple confirmed
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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