Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
