I just saw a hot homeless man
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize