If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
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My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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