when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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