How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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