i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
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He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
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Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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