who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
