I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
