Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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