If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
