im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize