I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
