I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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