it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
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