it hurts more in the daytime
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
