I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
