so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Edward fifth and chaser hands
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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