if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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